Oops, Wrong House.
When I lived in Los Angeles (the San Fernando Valley) I had a friend who
lived in Culver City. We saw each other maybe once a month for dinner
or a weekend movie, whatever. Cathy always had good stories from the past
to tell, and this Saturday afternoon was no disappointment. In fact, I've
always considered this particular caper to be Cathy's Personal Best.
At this time in her life, Cathy didn't work, she stayed home all the time,
except when her husband was home and in one of his "moods."
On this night, her husband was in one of those moods, and they got into
a fight. Not wanting to stay there, Cathy left the house, met up with
some friends and they all went out drinking. It was probably around 10:00
(as close as she can guess), when her friends were ready to call it a
night. Cathy, however, was not. On the drive from the bar to her apartment,
she stopped for some Vodka at a liquor store and started to drink it in
the car.
By the time she got home, she was drunk and ravenously hungry. She walked
in the front door, which was unlocked, sat down on the couch and loudly
demanded to know what was for dinner. All of the lights in the living
room came on, and there was a strange woman shouting for someone to call
the police. Cathy had walked into another house unknowingly and now was
screaming at the top of her voice to the woman who lived there, telling
her to shut up and get out of the house if she didn't have dinner ready.
"Oh, what the hell, I'm going to sleep," she said, and walked
down the hallway looking for her bedroom. Now the kids are awake, screaming,
scared, thinking they are going to be killed by this drunk madwoman who
was screaming something about dinner.
The police arrived, and they put Cathy in handcuffs and escorted her to
the squad car. She climbed into the back seat behind the passenger side,
lost her balance and fell into the lap of some drunk guy on the other
side. He had been sitting quietly minding his own business, and keeping
his head turned away from her. He pushed Cathy off of him as best he could
with just an elbow and shoulder (he was handcuffed, too), and was trying
to hide his face at the same time. Cathy nudged him, pushed him, popped
him in the side with her elbow, generally antagonized him because she
wanted to see his face. In his anger, he forgot to hide his face. Their
eyes caught for one brief moment. Cathy sat back against her side of the
squad car and started to laugh. When she could say something, it was,
"Well, well, well...now I ask you, where the hell is Robin, the Boy
Wonder, when you need him, huh?" At which point she was told by none
other than Adam West (the original Batman) to "shut the F&$K
UP." |